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The Deep Blue...
Have you ever been hypnotized? I have. Oh it was one of those silly whims of mine - I thought I needed to lose some weight but couldn't seem to motivate myself... you know... so I visited a reputable hypnotist, got comfortable in a big leather chair... and listened to her soothing, friendly voice guiding me throughout the stages of conscious and subconscious thought.
It was a little strange at first, but that strangeness very soon gave way to a warm, relaxed feeling. Soon I was drifting somewhere between waking and sleep - aware but no longer bound by external stimuli - comfortable but not really feeling the chair, or my hands clutching it's arms, or my feet in the formally uncomfortable shoes.
It was like a serious daydream - the kind you just don't want to break away from. The hypnotist's voice and pleasant features were there, but I was in my own world, a world she tried to form for me with her words. She spoke of flowers and fields, of things that were familiar to me, happy, soothing things from my past.
But something crazy kept happening. I was not in that field of flowers, nor was I adrift in the past scenes of my life.
Where was I? I was drifting somewhere - but not where she was leading me. I couldn't break through this veil of blue to find where I was or what lie beyond. It was starting to get a little unnerving when the realization hit me - the blue I was seeing was not some transition - I was there. It almost felt as if I was one with the blueness - I couldn't explain it but I had seen that blue before. Was it Tahiti? - The Caribbean?
It was the deep blue of the sea. I floated in it, effortlessly - I drifted through it totally weightless. I was large - like the largest of creatures. Slow, graceful, yet incredibly powerful. I heard the whale song. Did it come from me? Misty, blue-grey images came and went. A calf brushed by. A new song emerged. The blue gave way to pale blue as the sunlight filtered through - I felt the warmth as the surface neared.
She woke me out of my dream state, but I wanted to stay. I was confused but not afraid. What had happened? I didn't hear much of what she had been saying, although I remember the basic context. She too was puzzled, as she never spoke of oceans or whale songs, only about being happy and satisfied with one's self. This had never happened to anyone before under her guidance. I drove home thinking about what had happened and how odd it was, how perplexed she was. But somehow she did achieve exactly what she intended. She was teaching me to reach into my psyche and grasp whatever made me feel whole, and peaceful with myself. And now I knew what it was.
I have called upon that experience whenever I need to escape for awhile, sort out problems, or just to take me back to a place where I feel totally serene.
I still don't know if I fabricated that vision, or if I for one moment connected with another being, or if there is some other spiritual explanation - it is still a mystery. But I will always long for that deep blue experience for as long as I live.
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